It goes something like this: OH MY GOD, I'M GOING SO FAST, QUICK MAKE A TURN, WHOA, REMEMBER TO PUT YOUR POLES BACK, TAKE A BREAK UP AHEAD. I NEED TO CATCH MY BREATH, OK, LET'S GO DOWN THIS BIG PART, WHOA, OH MY GOD, I'M GOING TO DIE!!!
And of course, this is all happening on the Bunny Hop , because I am too scared to graduate to the next slope, which would be "Joe's Special."
Three weeks ago, I had a panic attack while skiing down the Bunny Hop. This year for my lessons, I decided I wanted to ski with my friends Julie and Michelle. I know they are better skiers than me, but I was hoping to be influenced by them. In my ski lesson group, I am probably the worst skier. But three weeks ago, I felt like I was holding back my group, since our instructor had to take time to coach me. I don't really think any of the other skiers even cared, but I was so self-conscience of this. By the second run down the hill, I was experiencing with panic. I don't know if it was an actual panic attack, but I knew I had to stop skiing. I announced to my group that I was going to take a break, I skied back to the lodge, and handed over my rental skis and boots, and decided in two seconds, that it wasn't going to be a break, but I was quitting for the day. I felt defeated, but relieved I was off the mountain.
Some people are afraid of heights or small spaces. I think I've discovered that I'm afraid of going down a mountain at a high speed. Actually, I might even be afraid of mountains. When we lived in Europe, and we drove from Germany to Italy, driving through the Alps, I was awestruck by the beauty. But the higher and higher we got, I started to freak a little. First of all, the highways in Europe are so narrow. And as we were, what seemed to me, driving on top of the Alps, on these narrow highways, on these little narrow bridges, I thought we were going to fall off the cliff at least 100 times. But the time we reached Venice, Italy, I was relieved to be on land, and it didn't even matter that the land was a floating city in the sea! And as we walked to our water taxi, I wondered why my hips hurt. And it dawned on me that I was literally moving my body as we drove on those narrow highways, with all the twists and turns; every time our car turned, I think I turned my whole body. I was so tense for at least 2 hours of our drive. So, I really am not afraid of heights. It's when I'm around a mountain, and twisting and turning around it; whether it's skiing or driving around one. And having all that speed, while turning, freaks me out.
So, here I am, almost at the end of my 2nd year of ski. It is Winter Break and I asked my kids what they wanted to do. They both want to ski at the mountain we take lessons at. So today, I will conquer my fears and step onto the Bunny Hop; the first time since I excused myself 3 weeks ago because I had to take a break.
There was one week of ski when I told Michelle that skiing felt easy that day, and when I skied I heard birds singing and Walt Disney music. She laughed and thought I was funny, but she doesn't know about my internal rants. To hear birds singing was a big thing for me. I think the birds were singing in my mind, because it was a slow day on the mountain, so the paths suddenly became wider. Hmm, maybe I'm just afraid of narrow paths around mountains?
