My Tulips

Today was a gorgeous sunny day in Upstate New Y ork. After a morning of shopping, I couldn't wait to head home, so I could play with my garden, and the kids could play outdoors.

Because I was living in Germany last Spring, I wasn't able to get my garden ready. My friend who was living in our house, I think, didn't even want to touch anything in the yard, for fear she would mess things up. So when we returned from our one-year expat position, we returned last summer to our beloved 1906 house, with our overgrown garden. The garden was so overgrown, I couldn't even begin to tackle it.

Now that a new Spring has arrived, I'm excited to share the garden's responsiblities with my daughter. So today, I just raked the leaves. And after dragging the leaves to the curb, I went back to the garden and noticed my tulips were showing through the soil.

These tulips were one of my treasures that I brought back from Europe. On a trip to Amsterdam, we bought tulips there. Last Fall, I planted the tulips around the garden. I really have no idea what I'm doing, so we'll see what happens.

My garden is just a small plot of land in front of our covered porch. It's crammed with flowers sprouting up. Wild flowers, tulips, daffodils, and other plants and flowers I don't even know... I don't really have a plan when I garden, but that's the way I like it!

I bought blue tulips in Amsterdam just so I would know what tulips are the ones from Amsterdam, and which ones are the ones that come up every spring. These tulips are just another reminder of my year in Europe. Another one of my treasures.

St. Baldrick's

Today was the day my 9-year old son got his head shaved.

For the last two months, my son has been raising money for St. Baldrick's, a charity that donates money to find cures for childhood cancer. He was having his head shaved in honor of his friend, Hannah. Hannah was diagnosed with leukemia in November 2010. She is one of the bravest people I have ever met.

My son raised $2,300, and he was the top fundraiser out of over 80 shavees today. People donated on my facebook page. He went door-to-door, asking for donations. He wrote a fundraiser proposal for his school's student council, and last Friday, his school raised almost $300 by having a Hat Day. The kids paid $1 to wear a hat to school. He has updated his blog (yes he has one) and produced his own movies, to get the word around about his fundraising goals. He original goal was $1,000. So he surpassed it, surprising all of us.

As he was getting his head shaved today, I suddenly became emotional. First, I thought about him, and how proud I was of him. Riley is one of the most giving and generous people I know, and he's a nine-year old boy. I felt so much love for him. I was inspired by him. I was amazed and in awe of him. Then, as I looked around the room, I looked at my friend, whose daughter is Hannah. Hannah was standing near to me, and I looked down at her several times, and bent down to tell her how special she was. Her little sister, Fiona, is in my kindergarten class this year, and she's pretty special too. She donated bone marrow to her sister, and is also a brave little girl. I felt my eyes fill with tears, but happy tears. My friend and her family have been through a lot this year. And their family has taught our family so many things. So many things.

It was a day filled with emotions: happiness, joy, and pure love.

The event today raised close to $40,000. One of my best friend's organizes the St. Baldrick's event each March. She lost a cousin to leukemia, and it's her mission to raise money for childhood cancer research. Many people in our community came together to join my friend. She's pretty amazing too.

Today, I take nothing for granted. I haven't for a long time. Hannah has taught me that.

Child #2 sick now...

Earlier this week, I had to take 2 days off because my daughter was sick. Today, my son woke up, having difficulty in swallowing, red and enlarged tonsils, and talking with a weird voice.

Called my favorite sub...but she was already working. Called the list of subs I love...all of them already working. So, I called "Subfinder" and they just will randomly call me a sub. I like to have substitutes that I know, since they know my class, and I have 2 children in my class with health concerns. It always worries me when I have to be out.

So, because I live only 3 miles from my school, I drove to school and dropped off sub plans. I was excited to do 3 projects with my class today, but decided to hold off on them until Monday. I selfishly want to do these activities with my students, and I wanted it taught in the right way. Sometimes when I leave sub plans for important lessons, I often am disappointed in how the lesson turned out and the evidence of the work the kids do. Since I was having a stranger substitute, I didn't want to leave a lot of complicated things.

My son is feeling better. I was worried he had Strep throat, since it is going around his 4th grade classroom. But the strep swap proved otherwise, and he is just fighting a virus. So hoping he'll be better soon. Tomorrow, he has a big day ahead of him, and I'll be writing about his big day tomorrow...

So today- another day home. I did report cards and talked on the phone to 2 of my best friends who are stay-at-home moms while my son rested today. Still feeling guilty for having to leave my students, for a third day this week.

30 days with a headache

I'm dragging today. After suffering for a headache for more than 30 days, and getting a MRI last week, it was determined that I have allergies. After taking Claritin for 5 days, I feel somewhat better, but I'm still getting headaches.

It's just hard when you teach kindergarten, and you have a headache all day. I feel grouchy; not my bubbly self.

I go to the allergist in a couple weeks, and I'm trying to figure out what I would be allergic to that would be causing me so much pain. My dog, who is 11? My 1906 house? My school, where in my wing, there's 10 open classrooms without walls, and only a handful of windows and fresh air?

I just wish I was feeling better. My headache is back, and I'm tired. I want to be healthy so bad right now. It 8:15PM and I'm heading to bed right now.

Why do we feel guilty for calling in sick?

I knew I would wake up this morning, and not know what to do. My daughter, who was sent home from school sick yesterday, by bed time last night, was dancing and playing Wii. So when it was bedtime last night, I was clearly thinking she would be going to school today.

However, that didn't seem to be what happened. I woke her up an hour earlier than I usually do, just so I could evaluate her. She did look a little pale, and her eyes had that weird sick look to them. She told me her throat hurt, and she was tired. I went back and forth, with calling in sick. Should I? Shouldn't I? I wish days like today, I had a magic stick that would really tell me if my child was sick enough to stay home.

Well, I ended up staying home with Maggie. I've learned through the years that my own children have to be my priority over my kids at school. And I knew that if Maggie did go to school, I would be a nervous wreck, worrying about her.

So, it ended up being a good day after all. It was almost 60 degrees here in Upstate New York. Maggie and I sat on our porch most of the day. We did a lot of talking. She did my hair. She painted my nails. Yep, she could had gone to school.

When I picked up my son from school after his Student Council meeting, he threw himself into the seat and complained of a headache. Riley, unlike Maggie, NEVER complains. He told me his throat was hurting too. And a strep throat notice from the nurse was in his folder. So this isn't looking good for tomorrow.

My husband has already told me that he can stay home, if Riley is sick tomorrow. As I write this, Riley is getting ready for bed, so we'll see how he is doing.

Out of the 4 days we had school last week (snowday one day), I was in my classroom for 1 day ( 2 meetings and a personal day). This week, out of 3 days, I have been in my classroom for 1.5 days, since Maggie was sick. I am feeling guilty for abandoning my little kids at school.

Why is it that we always feel guilty when we need to call in sick?

"Your daughter is in the nurse's office, and is sick..."

It's 1:15 PM in my busy kindergarten classroom. I'm in front of the class, going over all of our new literacy centers for the week. In the middle of going over the 2nd literacy station, we all hear Mrs. Millington on our PA system. "Mrs. Walz, can you pick up your wall phone." Thinking one of my students is getting picked up early, I walk quickly to the phone in my room.

"Hi Stacey. The nurse from your daughter's school just called, and you need to call her back."

Then it dawns on me that my daughter told me that she wasn't feeling well this morning. I sent her to school, since there wasn't a fever. And after a cup of hot chocolate, she was her ole self again. Then it hits me that I'm probably not a good mom for sending her to school.

I quietly tell my students that I need to call Maggie's school. Luckily for me, our ESL teacher is in my room helping out, so I let her take over, while I head to the phone. Once on the phone with the nurse and talking to Maggie, I know that I have to leave school to pick her up. My school office already knew about the nurse calling me, so I dart into the office to talk to my school secretary and in 2 minutes, she already has a substitute heading to my classroom. It is amazing how smoothly it all is going down. While writing a few sub plans for the remainder of the day and placing some notes in some folders, I tell my students that I will miss them and to be good. They are in the midst of doing centers, so many of them are so engaged, they don't see me leave.

Once at my daughter's school, I go to the nurse's office to sign her out. She doesn't have a fever, but she has some chills. Her face is kind of pale, and she is relieved to see me. We hold hands walking out of the building, and then I feel like a good mom again.

While Maggie was resting on the couch this afternoon, I decided to be Super Mom, and I made some baked goods for when my son walked home from school. And dinner was on the table at 5, which never happens.

It's now 5:30 PM, and my daughter is sleeping on the couch. I may need to think about doing sub plans for tomorrow...

Tears on Monday

Today, afterschool, I had a grade level meeting with all the kindergarten teachers in my district. The topic was on the Common Core, our five year old reading program that needs to be align with these standards, and the work we have in front of us. It seems daunting, this big task.

After the meeting, I ran to greet my old kindergarten team. How I missed their smiles,our conversations, our mutual love of teaching and sharing what we do each day...I just really miss being part of a happy team of teachers.

When I moved to Germany last year, I took a one-year leave. I was hoping to return back to my school when I returned back to the U.S, but it didn't work out. Because of seniority (I've only been in my district for 4 years) and other union and Human Resources issues, I wasn't able to return back. Instead, I was placed in another elementary school in my district, but still remaining at Kindergarten. It was sad and very painful, but I know things happen for a reason. I loved the school I was at: It's the school that my own two children attend, and it's two blocks from my house. It's nice when you can walk to work. And I worked with teachers that I respected and had fun with.

I really miss collaborating with my old Kindergarten teachers. At my new school, teachers are planning and teaching individually, and I feel like I'm still finding my way in my new school.

When I said goodbye to one of my old teammates today, I had tears in my eyes. We both miss each other, and we were even trying to brainstorm ways so we can teach again together. But the chances, now, are slim, since our district isn't anticipating many new openings, especially two at one grade level, in the same school.

Things happen for a reason. I'm still trying to figure out what that reason is...Maybe I'm needed more at my new school...Maybe my own two kids are better off going to a school, without their mom as a teacher... So I'm being positive with my change, but today, it was hard.